Most of America has been touched by this recession. We know someone who's lost their job, we've lost our job or we're pinching pennies and smiling brightly so that we DON'T lose our job! Back in June, I found out that half of our non-profit was being cut and my little space in the company was deleted...just like that. A blip. A budget line. Surely a second thought went into it - these are great people after all. Both the cutters and the cut-tees. Money talks though. Without this grant, and that revenue source, there's no way to push forward. So I was tossed back to my home and a life I knew absolutely nothing about. Suburbia.........
After the feelings subside (that's 3 months, right there) and the summer passes, what do all those people DO that are home. When I was bolting out of the house at 6:45am, what did the other folks do that weren't bolting, that weren't screaming at their poor kids to get ready, that weren't chewing on toast and dribbling coffee down their coat? Surely, I'd imagined, they lived a serene friend-filled life that involved spas and brunches and manicures. While I was lucky to get mascara on my weary lashes, they must have had bronzers and blushes and curling irons ready to go. Physical trainers waiting for them at the upscale gym nearby. We're talking about some terrific looking chicks around here!
The inside of my sexy car had always been a wreck, a perfectly organized chaotic disaster. There were the recyclable grocery bags that never got used as they weren't Velcro'd to my wrist, the yoga mat still in its wrapping because I lived in fear of accidently signing up for hot yoga and melting away, and the tools scattered around the trunk should I ever break down - this is the danger of watching too much DIY network - MUST HAVE TOOLS! Friends I'd talk to as I stood next to their SUV, had lovely clean floors with just a hint of Pirate's Booty residue next to the booster seat. Oh, bliss! Those days must have been amazing. How I envied them their gyms and jaunts in the park. The dogs they had time to train, the food they had time to cook, and oh, the shopping trips. Their clothes looked so neat and well picked out for Parent's Night at school. Surely, there was a store I didn't know about. Me time? What was that?
September rolled around and my son went off to college and it was the first day of school for my daughter. She was thrilled to start 4th grade and I was so excited to be able to walk her to school. I'd packed a great lunch - ham and cheese sandwich with a banana, her favorite granola bar, a cheese stick and a juice box. Far superior to the PBJ's tossed in a sac from her past. We walked and talked; her excitement energized us both. A kiss at the door and she was off.
Then it hit me....what happens now? What's the next thing I'm supposed to do? Where's my meeting? My contact list is empty, there is no support staff, and no one is looking for my research or expertise. *&#$@!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I recently in the past few years have come to the realization that mid-life for me is about wanting to connect back to the basics. Tired of the cubicle life and about to blow if one more person in the office asked what was I eating for lunch. So after starting my own freelance graphic design business I felt freedom and a drive that made me love the career I had chosen all over agiain. Then after 3 years it became dull again but I needed the income. But my heart wasn't in it. So in the side I tried tapping into my childhood and all the things use to I love doing. Miniatures....so I made and sold miniatures. Unfortunatly then the reccsion hit and people are not buying into hobbies anymore. Then I tried sculpting figures remembering how I loved to dig in the clay on the lake and make animals when I was a kid. It was fun but something was still missing. Then I did paper art sold quite a few, Repainted and styled dolls, Then I decided to get back to making jewelry.... Tada! I love it. I remember being facinated by rocks on the beach as a kid and last year I went to the Museum of Natural History and saw the minerals and crystals and it all came together. I wanted to learn about rocks and minerals again and then incorporate their beauty into making women feel beautiful! So, busy with my hands, working with precious gems that I love, wiring (a form of sculpting), working with MINI crystals, and using my design skills as a trained designer. All the things I loved as a kid and using my adult skill sets seemed to fill that middle age hole that was left. I guess the point I was making is they say you have to do what you love and I think that is true but as humans I thing the bigger reward is that what you do goes to make another human being feel good. When you were a kid after you created an art piece what did you do? You gave it to a loved one and they smiled and adored it and you were beeming. You had fun making it and it also made you feel good to make someone smile. So thats my quest. So far so good. People are really taking to my jewelry and I know there are women sitting at dinner with their earings sparkling while their significant other stares at them with adornment.
ReplyDeleteKaren I am so excited you have started a blog! Its amazing from just reading one post,I feel like I know you so much more. It sounds like quite a year of transition for you, what a wonderful time for you to spend reconnecting with yourself! Know you have love and support around you too. Welcome to Suburbia! Love you...xx
ReplyDelete